Your comment does make sense to anyone who has struggled in making a relationship work, and that is most of us! Thanks so much VirginiaLynne. Believe it or not the person I am writing about and the person who is trying to get me on the right track are one and the same and I very much appreciate his critique.
I know why he is being tough on me and I too am being tough on myself. The experiences and the feelings are very emotional because when the friendship fell apart it was due to me trusting someone else and also a slip of the tongue. Needless to say I don't trust as easily now. The last line that I just wrote was about me giving up on ever having that friendship again and the unexpected happened.
We are now friends but on a totally different level now than before. Writing about it is hard and I know that he wants me to be honest as he has been. I start writing and I can't stop. It is a friendship of over 3 and half years.
It is hard to cut back on it so that it fits essay requirements. Thank you for your input and it is much appreciated. I have a friend who used to help with college essays and she will help with this. She also knows what I am writing about. I don't know if this even makes any sense.
Hi Watson--I appreciate your comment. One thing that is very difficult to do is to separate your feelings and experience from the piece of writing about that experience. It is very easy to feel that the piece we write is really a part of ourselves and that any criticism of that piece is a criticism of us. Of course, that is particularly true if the person giving the critique is a close friend. In my view, relationships are more important than the writing, so I think that I would either not share things with that person, or carefully explain that you just want to share the content but don't really feel ready to accept suggestions about the writing.
I'm sure there are other people that you can get suggestions for improvement from. It might be that the same suggestions coming from someone else would be helpful rather than hurtful.
However, as an overall help in developing your writing, I suggest that you try to grow into the idea that what you write is a thing you produce, which can be done better or worse some days and which can generally always be improved.
Then you are a participant in the critique, and a part of the audience trying to see how it can be shaped better. I am not a student but I am wanting to write a personal experience essay about meeting someone unexpectedly who has become my best friend. This person has inspired me to better myself in a lot of ways.
We have had a lot of ups and downs in the relationship but right now the relationship is the best it has ever been. He is in college at the age of 45 and that in itself is inspiring. I have sent this friend a few essays but he is being very critical. I know he wants me to really think about it and it is going to be very emotional for me. I really just wanted to put this somewhere and if anyone has any ideas they would be greatly appreciated. Ii actually advise students to avoid using quotes to start an essay.
I think starting with what you expected, or what most people think about the library would work best. Another way you could introduce this is with a conversation with someone about using the library or by remembering the library you used as a child and comparing it to this college library.
A final way to do the introduction is by starting with a very detailed description of the library. They you can talk about what your story is and what it meant to you. I have written some personal experience but it was a hit and miss. This time, you have given me a platform to write them. So very sorry Mary to hear about your loss. I think you could use a frame story for this sort of essay. Start perhaps with a memory right now about taking care of things and maybe feeling frustrated about this or seeing something which reminds you of your mom.
Then go back in time and talk about your mom dying. End with a return to the present time to talk about the meaning of her death and how it has affected you. I need help on how to start my personal essay off. It is going to be about my mum dying in March of this year and me taking on the responsibility of taking over the house and getting left to look after our two pets and my little sister.
How would I go about starting this? Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
What you need to do to get a good grade. How to explain the meaning of a memory. How to choose a great topic.
Easy organizing strategies for fabulous essays. Telling a vivid a story from your past. Explaining the significance of that story. What Makes a Great Essay Want a good grade on your essay? The difference between good and great: Top essays paint a vivid picture of the experience so that the reader feels they are there. Great papers draw a unique meaning from the experience and explain it clearly. The best papers are well-organized. This article tells you how to do all that! Write About a Conflict.
How to Find Significance of Memory Writing an essay about a personal experience or relationship can be a powerful way of both discovering the meaning of your own past and sharing that past with others.
Your perspective in the present. Your perspective you had at the time the event occurred. Choose a Great Topic. Topic Ideas Any event from your past can be a good topic if it was important to you. Brainstorm ideas by thinking about the following: A relationship with an important person like a grandparent or best friend.
A single encounter with someone that changed you. An event which was small but significant. A major, life changing event. Something that you did over and over that was meaningful to you.
Your experience and memories of a place that embodies who you are, or has meaning for you. How to Decide if You Have a Good Topic To make sure you have a good topic, you need to determine what the meaning of that event or person was for you. To help you get ideas about the meaning and to decide whether this topic is a good choice, jot down some notes answering the following 5 questions: What did I think the meaning of the experience was when it happened?
How have my thoughts about it changed? What did I learn? How has my life direction been affected by this event? Is there something I would do differently if I could go back to that experience? Chronological Organization This is the most obvious way to tell the story.
Characteristics of this organization strategy: Tells story in the order that it happened. Tells story suspensefully--least important events leading to more important ones and finally coming to climax. Explains meaning after climax or lets events show the meaning. For example, Dillard states her understanding in a series of phrases, such as "I was handed my own life," and "my days were my own to plan and fill" along with a lot of specific details of how she did that.
Of course, she also uses the title to explain her meaning. Expectations Unfulfilled Organization Want an easy way to organize your essay? Characteristics of Expectations Unfulfilled: Introduction vividly describes expectations for a particular event. Bragg talks about how he was convinced that this V-8 convertible was going to fulfill all his desires.
Maybe foreshadow the problem. Bragg's uncle warns him to be careful because "That'un could kill you. Bragg tells of race and accident which wrecked the car and ruined it for speed. Describe the contrast between reality and expectations. Bragg's memories of the crash are the radio still playing and being pulled out unscratched and of being famous not for having the best car, but for being the kid who survived a mile crash.
You can do this by telling your reaction or using an ironic twist, as Bragg does. Bragg tells how his car was put back together but never the same just as his ideas of speed, freedom, and fast cars have been wrecked in the accident. An ironic end can sometimes be a good conclusion for this sort of story. Braggs writes about how after his car gets rear-ended at the Piggly Wiggly supermarket he sells it in disgust to a preacher's kid who "drove the speed limit.
Frame Story in UP. Frame Organization Strategy Using a frame story for the introduction and conclusion should be familiar to you from lots of movies. Internal and External Conflicts Organization With this technique, you organize your story around what is happening internally in your mind, versus what is happening in the event.
Student Sample You can combine some of these strategies together to make your essay shine. Brandt's essay has her ride to the mall. First conflict and resolution. Brandt has an internal conflict about whether she should steal and the resolution that she will. Second conflict and resolution. Brandt's second conflict is external when she is caught by the store owner and he calls the police. Third conflict and resolution. Brand's third conflict is both internal and external.
She wonders how her parents will react. She is brought to the police station but not punished by her parents. She realizes that disappointing them and realizing she had made the wrong choice is worse than if they had punished her. Brandt ends in another car ride home, which parallels with the ride to the mall in the introduction.
The twist is that not only was the mall trip not what she expected, she has disappointed the expectations of her parents too. Small Events Can make Good Essays Brandt's essay illustrates how to take a single, small incident and turn it into an essay which explains how she learned something about herself. Write About a Favorite Moment. Tips for Chronological Organization Most students will use this method, so if you want to make your essay stand out, you may want to try one of the other techniques.
When you do use this method remember: As you've probably learned in English class, good stories start with a conflict that is either internal inside yourself or external between you and someone else. Good stories show the development of the conflict, the crisis called a climax and then the resolution of what happens afterward either good or bad.
Make sure your story follows this pattern. Don't add unnecessary details. If you cannot find any suitable paper on our site, which happens very rarely, you can always order custom written paper which will be written from scratch by our professional writers and deliver to you on requested time.
Your research paper is written by certified writers Your requirements and targets are always met You are able to control the progress of your writing assigment You get a chance to become an excellent student! C to his life in the Ivy League at Brown University. A Hope In The Unseen shows that no matter where a person comes from they can still have success if they put their mind to it A hope in the unseen Violence is not just an emotional damage but also physical damage. It is my intention to share my thoughts with this nation on how I feel about racial discrimination The poem speaks about no matter how things are one minute they can always change.
I didn't want to start studying or doing homework until I felt fully inspired. Which meant that very little work actually got done. During my second semester, I learned that you just have to dive right into working hard.
You can't wait till you feel fully ready. Because when do you ever feel fully ready for anything? I'm pretty sure I leave my apartment every morning rushing and feeling like I must have forgotten something.
Second semester, you'll come to love doing work in coffee shops and libraries. You'll learn to love working hard. You don't need any outside sources to convince you to want to work hard; you'll want to work hard for yourself.
The campus won't feel so unfamiliar. Your homework will feel much doable and even possibly enjoyable. Your time management skills will get better.
It just takes some time. You want to just be able to hit the ground running. But you'll first have to learn to walk. Yeah, the first semester is a struggle, but a worthwhile one that teaches you a whole lot about yourself. During the first semester, it feels like you should be excited to be in college, but you're just not. You're constantly confused by people who say "I love college" and "College is the best time of your life.
Upon much thought on my part I have decided to write about my first concert that I ever attended and explain why I left an impression on my in three different ways and how it was an enlightening experience .
Free Essay: My First Experience of Camp - Original Writing "AHHHHHHHHHH!" The cry of my fellow companion echoed throughout the musty wooden cabin.
My First Experience Essays: Over , My First Experience Essays, My First Experience Term Papers, My First Experience Research Paper, Book Reports. ESSAYS, term and research papers available for UNLIMITED access. So, even though my first semester of my frosh year was just four months straight of not getting what I wanted, it was an experience I wouldn't trade. And it's an experience that I offer to current.
Writing sample of essay on a given topic "My First Experience In The Kitchen" My First Experience in the Kitchen When I was younger, I dreamed of becoming a chef. My parents often fight in the kitchen because of the food when my dad dislikes the taste of mom's cooking. My First Experience In The Kitchen (Essay Sample) July 14, by admin. My First Driving Experience Essay Sample “Sitting in the driver’s seat, sweat trickling down my forehead, my heavy breathing joined with the thundering pounding in my chest,” a feeling all too real, yet one that was necessary to fulfill my growing experience.